To my non-negotiable love crush.

“I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. And it’s not because you’re unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you’d ever consider. This may sound like a cliche, but I've never felt anything like this before. I am aware that the chances of you liking me is slim, you are endlessly charming and funny, while I am a pathetic bore. You are handsomely beautiful, while I am an average face. You are a constant enigma, while I am an everyday mundane. I'm sorry if you think I am now crossing the line, I just can't take this anymore. I have to let this out in the open, because it sucks to sleep at night knowing that there are still people like you. And if bringing it to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But I couldn’t allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is the inevitable shoot-down. And I’ll accept that. But I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not dismiss that-atleast not for ten seconds-and try to dwell it in.

And if you have finally find in your heart, that you also feel the same way, then I'm gonna love you the best. Like what Elizabeth Gilbert had said, "

If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts, I will protect you from your own insecurity,I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else."

But the only difference between me and Elizabeth Gilbert, If I get exhausted, I will never cease on loving you. You will be non-negotiable till the end. Its you or no one.

Proud Bitch Like Me

I have always been a BIG flirt who live for the buzz of romance. Pathetic, Lame, and Shallow as it may be, but that is me. People confronted me, lashed me out with such strong words like flirt, slut, bitch, relationship wrecker and a whole lot nasty words, and surprisingly, I love them!

Calling me those names won't make me cry. So I am a bitch, what's your problem then?

When I stand up for myself and for what I believe in, you call me bitch.

When I smile and flaunt my hair, you call me bitch.

When I tried to talk to you even though you have a girlfriend, you call me bitch.

When I stand up for the people I love, you call me bitch.

I just don't care. And believe me, when I uttered those words, I do really don't care.

Life is a bitch anyway, and so am I.

Just like one Ube cake. ( :

Breaking up is hard to do. Yes, that was what Paul Anka said in his 1970’s hit. Who says breaking up is always easy?No matter who initiated or planned the break-up, both parties still face the same hurt or pain, maybe they will only differ in the degree of pain, but still breaking up is NEVER a piece of cake.

But, what is wrong after a break up? The immediate effect of the break-up is pain. The pain goes away slowly over a number of years, but the initial impact is high. It is the initial period during which one has to gather all the energy and tolerate the pain.So is it the moving on process? Yes, it is. I don’t know how men deal with break up, but i believe most of them are stoic in nature so I will speak on behalf of the women society.:)

I believe that every women is entitled to grieve after a break up. Give your self the agony of crying for like three days? Cry your heart out. Engage in catharsis. Create suicidal ideations. Mode yourself in an i-will-never-ever-stop-loving-you crap. Call your ex and beg him to stay. Shout in front of your friends how in love you are still with him. Be an anorexic b*tch. Stalk his friendster/multiply/facebook. Go bar hopping and pretend you are okay, until in the middle of the night when the alcohol starts getting on your nerves and you started calling his name. But as I said, the normal range for that stupidity is within 3 days, okay?

What is wrong with us girls? If the guy told you that there is no point of getting back together, then I beg you girls, believe him! Guys would not be man enough for saying that to you. Guys are firm and definite in nature. Start moving on, stop stalking him. Stop fussing over his new girl. You were once that girl, he dumped someone just to have you. Yes, its a cycle on every guy’s pathetic life.

I won’t be a hypocrite claiming that I moved on right after the break up, it was like an everyday challenge of survival. I have to battle missing him because I know I shouldn’t think of him anymore. I undergo Ross’ DABDA process, but I never went on anger. Never did I blamed the guy, nor be mad to his new girl.I was passive. I embraced all the hurt I have to endure.

So that was me every after break up, but where I am now? Though I love attracting failed relationship, I know I am better. I have learned a lot.:)